Iwacs can’t help themselves

Iwacs can’t help themselves

By DAVID WORTHINGTON

It’s a sad day indeed when I don’t defend the integrity and basic goodness in gamers however, today is not one of those days. There is one group of "gamers", if they even deserve the commendable title, that I can’t stand, the team-killers. However, the term killer is a little over the top if you know what I mean, so I’m going to call them Iwac, otherwise known as Idiots Without A Clue.

You see I’ve come to realize that Iwacs can’t help themselves. Yes, like you I once thought that they were gamers like you and me who were just trying to get a bite from someone over the Internet where no harm could come to them physically,(otherwise known as cowards). However, the more I’ve studied the epidemic the more I’ve come to realize that it is a disease.

I talked to a doctor at the Gamer’s Clinic who wanted to remain anonymous, here is what he said; "Iwacs as we call them, are not just the spineless cowards that we once thought they were. In recent years of study we have concluded that it is a type of brain disorder."

The doctor continued to tell me that this disorder is most commonly found in Iwacs due to a lack of brain cells. It was an amazing realization to me to know that they are not just the ignorant cowards that I once believed, that there is really something wrong with them. This new found knowledge has led me to take pity on them.

So, without further ado I bring you the Iwac’s Guide to Online Team Play.

Step 1: Know WHO your teammates are.

This step is pretty obvious to you and me, however we’re not the ones fighting this Iwac disease. First off let’s say a game like Halo, your teammates are the same color. You must first know the difference between colors such as red and blue. For a game such as Call of Duty you have to look a little closer. If the enemy is wearing different clothes than you, shoot them.

Step 2: Know WHERE your teammates are.

This step requires utilizing the first step to pull off properly and I know it’s a stretch to your weak Iwac mind. However, I have faith in you. If you know where your teammates are, it makes it easier to not just toss a grenade into a room and blow your teammate to a new spawn. However, if you are unsure and don’t know if it’s your teammate you saw running into a building or get in a vehicle. Ask them. Communication is key to victory.

Step 3: Don’t stick your teammate with a d@mn plasma grenade and don’t pull your rocket launcher out and blow your team to hell in Hardcore Search and Destroy on Call of Duty 4, you dull-witted @$$.

I think that’s pretty explanatory.

So, Iwacs hear me. I have laid the foundation for what I hope to bring more learning and awareness to your disease. Gamers take pity on these individuals and the next time think before you hurl those insults and profanities into the microphone and remember that they just can’t help themselves, they’re Iwacs.

This article was brought to you by the National Organization Of Brothers Against Social Seperation or N.O.O.B.A.S.S.

If you have further questions, rants, or just want to give your piece on Iwacs contact the orcs at gamer@northfloridanewsdaily.com or via Xbox Live at Sauria Rex.